Alright, it’s time to get everything out in the open.  This is going to be my keyboard confessional.  I figure I might as well give a little background on me and the reason why I have started this website.  In order to do that, I figure I best tell a little about the past girls in my life that have helped me to formulate this theory about girls.

            First, I know grade-school doesn’t count.  Shit, that was a long time ago, but this was probably where the idea that girls can be really mean first came about in my mind.  The first girl I ever dated was in 8^th grade.  Around this time, all my friends started getting girlfriends.  It was one of those things where we all had our “girls”, and we’d go to each others houses and the girls would hang together and the guys would hang together, but we’d hold hands at the movies and lame stuff like that.  Anyways, I went with this girl named Emily.  She was boredom to the 10^th degree.  But anyways, after a while of this 8^th grade romance garbage, she dumped me.  The reason it was so evil was in the way she went about it.  She wanted to date my friend Chris, who is one of my good friends to this day and I like him, but she wanted to make sure that she wasn’t without a boyfriend.  Thus she enlisted the aid of one of her friends.  She called Chris up, and made sure that he would date her if she dumped me.  He agreed, and I found out about this before she called me to end it all (always over the phone… ah grade school).  So when she called I told her I knew what she was up to, I hung up on her and cried myself to sleep that night.  How very sad… I was emo at 14.

            Alright, moving on.  I dated this mad hot girl named Lindsay at the end of 8^th grade.  Her parents must have the absolute greatest genes ever, because her and her older sister are two of the most attractive girls on the face of the earth.  We split mutually because I was moving on to high school and since we were too young to drive, we never saw each other over the summer.  If she ever finds this site and reads this, I want her to know that I still think she’s awesome and she should call me and we’ll hook up, if she’d be willing. 

            High school.  I am so lame.  My high school experience consists of only two girls, and one near miss.  God I’m lame.

            I believe in love at first sight.  I believe in it because from the first day of school, when I laid eyes on Emily #2, I was in love.  She is the most beautiful girl ever, while a lot of guys would disagree with me.  I don’t care though.  She’s like one of those Disney cartoon chicks with the huge awesome eyes… damn it was hot.  Anyways, she was heavy with one of my best old friends, Juan from Chile (he moved back there which sucks cuz he was the rockingest).  So I pined over her like an idiot and got all sad when I saw them together.  I waited two years for her.  After Juan moved back to South America, I decided it was time to make my move.  And much to my surprise, it ended up working.  I started dating her, and I was the happiest kid in the world. 

            However, I guess she couldn’t get over Juan.  When he visited us over his summer break, he stayed at her house.  I got so much shit for that from my friends.  So he stayed at her house (only God knows what they did together while I sat at home sulking), and returned home.  I was happy cuz I figured I had her all to myself now.

            But I was wrong.  She didn’t seem to appreciate my sense of humor, and I suppose she came to the conclusion that I was a jerk.  And I know at times I was.  But anyways, she had a good friend from her childhood named Chris I think (I always lose the girls to a guy named Chris).  They hung out a lot, and it made me a little nervous.  But she told me he was just a buddy.  Yeah, a buddy who she makes out with.  Anyways, I found out that they had been getting involved, I called her up and it was over.

Love at first sight failed. 

She had a pool party a few weeks later, I was convinced to attend by some friends.  Believe me, it was the worst night of my life.  And I’m still crazy for this girl.  But I have moved on.

Now we get into the real one.  The real evil one.  The reason I have these sentiments.  This is the girl who I liked, who led me around by her little finger before kicking me in the face, reaching into my chest, pulling out my heart and tossing it violently to the ground.  That girl was Vanessa.

She was a really hot, and seemingly, really cool girl.  We were friends and hung out a lot.  I was attracted to her.  During the summer after my junior year we started going to movies together all the time, and hanging out a lot.  I was taking this to mean she was interested.  All the signs were there.  But nothing ever happened, she acted like she wanted to go out, and I certainly wanted to, but nothing happened.  Then came the dreaded drive home from the party.

We were at a party about 45 minutes from home.  I offered to give her a ride home from the party, being such a nice guy and all.  I thought this would be the night.  But the whole way home the only person she could focus on was John.  This guy John is a beer-gutted, frat-boy pot smoker.  Vanessa always said that she didn’t like guys who smoked weed and drank, but apparently that was just one of her evil lies.  The whole ride home she burned my ears talking about this shithead: how he’s so cool and nice to her, and how she’s going on a date with him soon.  She said this all right to my face, looking for support from me.  I was broken.  I tried to tell her that he was the type of guy she hated, a jerk who was only out to fuck her and use her.  She got mad, we had a fight and she went out with him.  When he tried to take advantage of her like two weeks later, she ended it with him.  It was too late for me, I didn’t want a piece of her and her lies.  I’d seen the truth and realized that she was evil.  She apologized to me, but it didn’t really do anything.  I really dislike her to this day, but I think deep down I still wish I had a shot at her.  She is the one who broke my heart the most.  (And apparently, the hearts of like 4 of my close friends… we were all about her).

Surprisingly, my high school love saga ends on a very good note.  And that note is Molly.  She had been one of my closest friends throughout high school.  She was the absolute coolest girl ever, and I felt a stronger bond with her than anyone.  But that’s why I was afraid to date her.  I had fucked up with all the other girls, and I didn’t want to ruin the great friendship I had with her over some silly dating mishap.  But she stuck with me through out high school, and at the end of our senior year I decided to take the chance.  We had a great time together.  And while we are not together today, I still care about her more than anyone and consider her the best girl in the world.  This girl is definitely one of the exceptions: she is the farthest thing from evil in the entire universe, and I was the luckiest guy in the world for getting a chance with her… I hope the other guys she dates in the future realize how good they have it.

Anyways, I’m in college now, and I haven’t got a girl yet.  I am so incredibly lame.  That was my keyboard confessional, and now I feel like a humongous tool.