Evil Online: My Conversation with the Most Worthless Human Being Alive
By Dan Irrational
I've always taken this whole girls are evil thing fairly lightly. I've tried to make the site a humor one, and while the content may deal with people getting hurt and broken-hearted, I've tried to treat everything with some levity. However, I have recently encountered over the AOL Instant Messenger the stupidest, most ignorant and by far most evil creature to walk the face of this planet. Luckily, I saved the conversations for reproduction here.
First some background info. A while back my friend Jen complained of some body harrasing her over Instant Messenger. I contacted the person to put a stop to it. The person, a female teenager, described herself as a "streetpunk". I see a few problems with this girl right off. One: harrasing people over IM got old as soon as I finished my freshman year, but this girl still thinks its cool apparently. Second: someone who proclaims themselves as a "streetpunk" first thing is obviously a total moron. A streetpunk?! How fucking lame.
Anyways, I forgot about this girl until last night, when she IMed me. She talked at length and displayed her stupidity and ignorance in shining colors. She is obviously an exception to the rule... most girls might be mean and have some shallow or bad tendencies, but this girl is the biggest waste of human resources I think I've ever been privy to. Check out the first leg of our convo. I changed her and her cool boyfriend's IM names, just so my intelligent readers here won't be bothered by her.
IAmViolent: hey
GirlsAreEvil: ?
IAmViolent: remember me,the girl who scares you
GirlsAreEvil: the girl who threatened to sick her "crew"
on me?
GirlsAreEvil: yeah i remember you
IAmViolent: what?
IAmViolent: my crew? if i were a nigger maybei would
have said some uneducated fuck like that
GirlsAreEvil: you said something like "you are a loser,
if i ever saw you my streetpunk friends would beat you
up" -- but its cool
GirlsAreEvil: woah woah... nigger??? -- fuck that,
racism isnt cool honey
IAmViolent: yes it is
GirlsAreEvil: hmm, i hope you're not serious
IAmViolent: why?
GirlsAreEvil: you just said "an uneducated fuck"
referring to your comment... well, racist comments are
the most uneducated thing you can say
IAmViolent: i said "maybe if i were an UNEDUCATED
NIGGER that i would have said some fuck like that,i was
putting fuckin the place of shit
GirlsAreEvil: alright then, thats great
GirlsAreEvil: are you really a girl?
IAmViolent: I REALLY am
GirlsAreEvil: i wish i could think that our society has
moved beyond shit like what you are saying
IAmViolent: are you going to cry?
IAmViolent: shall i get out my tissue?
GirlsAreEvil: no i wont cry, its not my fault you are
ignorant
IAmViolent: I'm not ignorant,i'm smart
GirlsAreEvil: i can tell
IAmViolent: good
GirlsAreEvil: hey, if you are so racist than i assume
your profile is a joke?
IAmViolent: you're smart
GirlsAreEvil: oh and you said "uneducated fuck" not
"uneducated nigger" -- but thats not important
GirlsAreEvil: no need to get into semantics here
IAmViolent: awww
IAmViolent: sorry i was just looking in the mirror
IAmViolent: i'm so fucking cute
GirlsAreEvil: racist... and humble... wow you are a real
catch it seems
IAmViolent: why thank you
IAmViolent: that wasn't sarcastic i hope
GirlsAreEvil: gee, its hard to tell
GirlsAreEvil: is there a point to this diatribe?
IAmViolent: wouldnt want to hurt my feelings
GirlsAreEvil: oh believe me i know
IAmViolent: you think i'm an asshole?
GirlsAreEvil: well, honestly, what am i supposed to
think?
GirlsAreEvil: to start off, someone was harrasing a
friend of mine on your sn, so i talked to them
IAmViolent: that i am a wholsome girl
GirlsAreEvil: then you talked to me for a second, and
then threatened to beat me up or some shit
IAmViolent: i'm tough
GirlsAreEvil: now you get online talking racist
hate-monger bullshit and what am i supposed to think
IAmViolent: haha
GirlsAreEvil: you are a contradiction
IAmViolent: hate monger
GirlsAreEvil: if the shoe fits
IAmViolent: haha
GirlsAreEvil: anyways, what is "streetpunk", what does
that mean?
IAmViolent: it's a form of music and a group of kids
listening to it on the streets alot
GirlsAreEvil: like rancid and anti-flag... the whole
leather jackets and bondage and fucking plaid pajama
pants
IAmViolent: no
GirlsAreEvil: is that what a streetpunk is?
IAmViolent: haha
GirlsAreEvil: a fashion punk as i call them
GirlsAreEvil: still there?
IAmViolent signed off at 1:42:07 AM.
IAmViolent signed on at 1:42:11 AM.
IAmViolent: nice
GirlsAreEvil: what happened? i thought you had left
IAmViolent: no
IAmViolent: wow,nothing to say?
GirlsAreEvil: you IMed me
GirlsAreEvil: alright then, if there's nothing else...
GirlsAreEvil: peace out david duke - don't beat me up
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Alright, a little commentary here on the first few things this worthless fuck said. The racism: this isn't someone making a joke or anything, this is serious ignorant racism, and that's uncalled for. Also, she talks shit to me after she IMed me first. And then there's the whole streetpunk thing. Is it just me, or are kids who label themselves "punk" and seriously buy into the whole anarchy and piss off wanker attitude of punk music all just plain cretins?? I hope it's not just me. The best part of the convo is my last line: "peace out David Duke". Shit, that's classic. I closed the window, saved the convo, but she kept going.
IAmViolent: ddanielle
GirlsAreEvil: ?
GirlsAreEvil: alright this is just getting lame now
IAmViolent: waht the fuck are ypou rambling on about?
GirlsAreEvil: im rambling on about how fucking
annoying you are becoming
IAmViolent: i'
IAmViolent: i'm not talking to you god damnit
IAmViolent: you Im me to say "alright if thats it david
duke don't beat me up"
IAmViolent signed off at 1:50:29 AM.
GirlsAreEvil: you are fucking talking to me
Previous message was not received by IAmViolent
because of error: User IAmViolent is not available.
GirlsAreEvil: where'd you go?
Previous message was not received by IAmViolent
because of error: User IAmViolent is not available.
GirlsAreEvil: awww, too bad
Previous message was not received by IAmViolent
because of error: User IAmViolent is not available.
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So the stupid bitch kept talking, then signed off. I thought I was rid of her finally, so I closed the box and went to block her name, so I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore, but she sent me another message. Here is where the conversation gets really funny.
IAmViolent: you don't like me because you're a nigger
lover right?
GirlsAreEvil: hmm, i dont like you because you are a
racist fuck and you keep IMing me when we have
nothing to talk about
IAmViolent: Learn not to rea so much into the internet and
what people say,they just might be pulling your chain
GirlsAreEvil: are you schizophrenic?
IAmViolent: thats a really cool question to ask,but you
might have wanted to spell that correctly before you wrote
it
GirlsAreEvil: yeah i figured you were one of my fucking
stupid friends pulling a prank, but even they shy away
from such ignorance
GirlsAreEvil: you spelled read wrong "rea" which is
needless to say a word preschoolers can spell
GirlsAreEvil: so if you want to have a spelling bee
here...
IAmViolent: you think if your friends knew that you
called them stupid you would have any? and by the way
when someone leaves off that letter at the end of a word
thats called a Type-o but you on the other hand spelled a
whole fucking word wrong
IAmViolent: are you gay as well as stupid?
GirlsAreEvil: woah another intelligent comment
IAmViolent: seriously,the words you use,and the way you
try to fight back on a computer
IAmViolent: haha,it's rather odd,you just strike me as
being a homosexual
GirlsAreEvil: hmm, you are the one fighting back --
and you are also the one trying to pick fights on a
computer
GirlsAreEvil: to me, thats stupider
GirlsAreEvil: you just strike me as a bitch
IAmViolent: haha,no no,i'm not trying,i just am,cause you
get so defensive and "stupider" isn't a word and i am a
bitch i strike alot of people that way
IAmViolent: and god i['m proud,i did it over the computer
GirlsAreEvil: oh, and how do you spell schizophrenic?
GirlsAreEvil: cuz you should maybe consult a fucking
dictionary...
IAmViolent: that's good
IAmViolent: find that dictionary in your cmputer to find
the word to spell it right
GirlsAreEvil: how do you spell it? i wanna see your
version
IAmViolent: the last time you spelled it was right,the time
before that wasn't
IAmViolent: you're so much STUPIDER than me,haha
GirlsAreEvil: check em out, spelled the same both
times
GirlsAreEvil: so your point is lost
IAmViolent: my pint is lost? hah
GirlsAreEvil: you have no point
IAmViolent: and you have no clue
IAmViolent: "i listen to punk,but i will not lable myself"
GirlsAreEvil: is that a quote from me?
IAmViolent: right
IAmViolent: and a dumb one atthat
GirlsAreEvil: because i do listen to punk, but i dont call
myself one because punks are all fuckups
IAmViolent: that*
IAmViolent: haha
IAmViolent: oh my
IAmViolent: haha
GirlsAreEvil: i must be pretty funny though
IAmViolent: I'm embarassed and i'm not even the one
who just made that filthy comment
GirlsAreEvil: filthy?
GirlsAreEvil: as filthy as "uneducated niggers"?
IAmViolent: you need your nose broken and a bottle in
your face a couple of times for even being you
GirlsAreEvil: alright then
GirlsAreEvil: since you are so cool why don't you go
listen to all your punk music on the streets instead of
talking to me?
IAmViolent: you're a fuck up,you need to learn a little,call
me fucking racist you little fuck,"punks are all fuck ups"
well niggers are all fuck ups
GirlsAreEvil: if im such a loser, why are you still
bothering me?
IAmViolent: because you're a twat
GirlsAreEvil: awesome then
GirlsAreEvil: you sure are a punk, cuz you get online
and threaten people, thats fucking PUNK!!!
IAmViolent: No it's not
GirlsAreEvil: so we agree on something
IAmViolent: good efford if insulting me though
GirlsAreEvil: thanks
IAmViolent: effort*
IAmViolent: I'm boerd though
GirlsAreEvil: you accuse me of spelling badly
GirlsAreEvil: then go, im not gonna miss you
IAmViolent: i'm 10 tiems fucking cooler than ou'll ever be
and it makes me happy to know that if i can scare you on
the internet i could kick your ass and you're probably twice
my size
GirlsAreEvil: alright, keep reassuring yourself that you
are cool
GirlsAreEvil: self-affirmation is a good thing
IAmViolent: i know
GirlsAreEvil: you probably are twice my size, you are
probably fat or something
IAmViolent: yeah you're right
IAmViolent: im a cow
GirlsAreEvil: dont put yourself down, you just said you
were cool
GirlsAreEvil: so it must be true
IAmViolent: awww
IAmViolent: you wish i was a cow
GirlsAreEvil: oh i wish that all the time
GirlsAreEvil: i wish some fucking girl on the internet
who bothers me is a cow? fuck my dreams would come
true
IAmViolent: if i were a cow i'd be in the bathroom
throwing up my dinner to try and be skinney
GirlsAreEvil: well then thank god you aren't huh?
IAmViolent: yes
IAmViolent: im perfect
GirlsAreEvil: your boyfriend IMed me
IAmViolent: good for him
IAmViolent: he's gonna get you
GirlsAreEvil: so it seems
GirlsAreEvil: your boy told me to stop responding, i
dont wanna get beat up over Instant Messenger, so i
guess this is goodbye
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It's hilarious to think that in modern day America such stupidity still exists. First things first: her whole deal with the word SCHIZOPHRENIC. I spelled it right both times, but for some reason she kept badgering me about it, the fucking moron. She proclaimed herself as a bitch, showing her evilness. She made this whole deal about fighting back on a computer. She said fighting back shows I'm a loser. Well, I just assume that causing fights on a computer means you are a loser. What, do some people have nothing better to do than get online and bother people with their inane chatter.
Here's the best line, when she accuses me of being gay. I think it's hilarious when people resort to calling someone a "fag" or a homosexual. It proves that they really have nothing intelligent to come back with, so they resort to the last possible cutdown. The thing is, someone over the Internet that I do not know calls me gay doesn't effect me in the slightest. She called me gay for using words larger than "fuck" and "twat"... as if having some semblance of intelligence is a characteristic of being a homosexual. I pity people who use their homophobia as a way to try to hurt someone else.
The "punks are all fuck ups" part needs explaining. See, when I talked to her before, she asked me if I listened to punk. I told her I did, but I don't label myself a punk. I believe that labeling yourself a punk and trying to make yourself look cooler for that label is just stupid. I'm not a "punk", by definition of the word. I don't buy into any ideology about punks and I don't see it as any sort of fashion or lifestyle. In fact, I hate kids who see it that way. To me, it's just the genre of music that I enjoy. And plus, I knew this line would piss the dumb bitch off.
She also isn't familiar with sarcasm. Neither is her supposed boyfriend, check out what he said.
IAmViolentsMan: ok motherfucker whats all this shit with
my girlfriend?
IAmViolentsMan: if she angers you so much stop talking
to her
GirlsAreEvil: shes talking to me buddy, ive only been
responding
IAmViolentsMan: ok well stop responding
GirlsAreEvil: alright
IAmViolentsMan: ok good good now go play more on
the internet look at gay porn r somehting
GirlsAreEvil: sweet, i love gay porn
IAmViolentsMan: i knew ya did, enjoy!
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If I used IM lingo, I would here write "rofl"... because I seriously was rolling on the floor laughing. This pair of "winners" seriously got me good huh?
In closing, this girl isn't evil like most girls. She is a fucking ignorant moron who, if she had any sense, would stop taking in oxygen and do herself in, leaving air, food and money to the people who deserve it and use it wisely. She is a total waste of genetic material. But, she did provide me with some much needed laughs and some great content, so I guess she's helped me in a way. Here are my final suggestions to all female readers: Don't get on the Internet and try to make yourself appear "cool" to someone who doesn't give a fuck, and will later use the convo against you on his website. Don't hate other races and people with alternate sexual preferences. Do remember to keep a sense of humor and understand sarcasm. And finally, DO (only if you are the girl from my IM adventure) walk directly into oncoming traffic and save the world around you from your idiocy.
And if all along this girl is really just someone I know pulling a prank, congratulations because you really got me.
Thank you, that is all.
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