 We are a generation raised by women. We were raised by television and advertising to believe that one day we’d all be movie stars and rock gods, but we won’t, and we are slowly starting to learn that fact. And we are very, very pissed off about it. We are God's unwanted children. Our generation has no great war, no depression… our war is a spiritual war… our great depression is our lives. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer that we are looking for. If I had a tumor, I’d name it “girls”. I am ready to hit bottom… because it’s only after you’ve lost everything that you are free to do anything. It’s time to let that which does not matter truly slide.
Tyler’s words coming out of my mouth… and I used to be such a nice guy.
When I feel bad about things, and turn to Tyler Durden and Fight Club. Anyone who hasn’t seen the movie and doesn’t agree that it is one of the greatest movies ever should LEAVE THIS PAGE NOW. It’s a truly amazing and important film. David Fincher crafted a vision of pure genius in his portrayal of “masculism” as I call it. In a world where men are forced into roles where they are assumed to button their collars, chase the almighty-dollar, women, cars, luxury condos and sport expensive Gucci and Prada outfits (Chris Kronner… Tyler will get you), Tyler Durden created an outlet for the common man. Fighting. Mischief. Misinformation. Mayhem. Soap.
In Tyler we trust… Tyler has a plan which makes sense, in a Tyler sort of way. And everyone who doesn’t listen to his message really should. No remorse and no regrets. We will not let ourselves be oppressed any longer by the shackles of common society.
I’d like to think that I am like Tyler Durden. I suppose I am kind of like him… a skinny, non-build, non-“sexy”, non-movie star, short, scared-of-fighting pussy version of him. Granted, I haven’t started any cool underground club dedicated to fighting and blowing up buildings… I haven’t been the creation of someone’s psychosis formulated in order to fulfill his desires to break free from society (I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ THIS IF YOU HADN’T SEEN THE MOVIE) and gain a higher enlightenment. However, one night I made a website called Girls Are Evil… and some kids apparently like it. I guess that makes me kind of like him.
Who am I kidding? I am Jack’s overwhelming sense of rejection.
Fight Club is the perfect form of comfort after you realize the truth about an evil girl. After you watch it, you can understand that girls aren’t the biggest deal we make them out to be, and you will say to yourself, who needs them anyways. You don’t need a girl in order to hit bottom. In order to be a spacemonkey, a member of Project Mayhem, you don’t need girls, a nice car, and a high-rise apartment for widows and young professionals.
Girls. The cut on the roof of your mouth that would heal if you could only stop tonguing it, but you can’t. Girls. While they provide so much at times, they also cause so much trouble and create so many problems.
Thus, when you feel blue, sad about how girls have treated you, do two things. First, stop on by at GIRLS ARE EVIL (self-promotion) and then pop in your copy of Fight Club (if you are smart you already own it), and sit back and forget about it all. Let it all truly slide. Hit bottom. Find your power animal.
Here is your homework assignment. First, pull up a Fight Club website whenever you are on your school’s computers. Next, send an evil girl a Girls are Evil E-Card and finally, the next time a girl looks at you and says “you are sweet and all, but I really don’t want to date you,” look her straight in the eye and say:
“I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.”
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