Broken Heart In A Cheated Body
By Jake
Girls. You can't live with them and you can't shoot 'em.
I guess I should begin from the beginning. I think I was around four years
old when I received my "first kiss" from someone other than my mom or my
annoying relatives. Her name was Heather...a really cute little girl with
blonde hair who had went through two preschools with me. I recall one time
at our first preschool, we both had to go to the bathroom pretty bad, so we
just peed next to the slide. A surrounding crowd of kids laughed
hysterically while we relieved ourselves... oblivious to what anyone thought.
Aside from all this, I think we were in the housekeeping "pretend area" when
she kissed me on the cheek. Eeeeeww... girls had cooties at that age. But I
smiled as she laughed. We were quickly told on by one of our friends... and
guess what happened after that? I HAD TO STAND IN THE CORNER. Not
her... not the one who instigated it... but the innocent victim... was forced
to do the time. That was my first upon many pains suffered from the curse
of girls.
I grew up. I was always the short kid... quiet, shy, and timid... throughout
grade school up until I moved in the rural hick paradise of Stephens County.
Upon entering there in the 7th grade, it was considered "cool" to wear
crotch-hugging Wranglers and these special boots called "Georgia Boots." I
laughed at the whole idea of it, but they laughed back at me, as I wore the
clothes my mom bought for me at that time. Didn't care... hated the place.
It wasn't until high school... when the "redneck" trend wore off... that I had
experienced that God-awful feeling of love. I say "God-awful" in the terms
that my type of love involves a deep feeling in your stomach, nervousness,
and usually ends up in tears. It was during a trip to Lookout Mountain
during my sophomore year when I first met Paralee. Sweet, cute, and seemed
to have an unusual quality that I still haven't figured out as of today. We
flirted and such during that long weekend, and upon returning back home, she
did not leave my mind for weeks upon end.
I knew that she had possibly wanted a relationship out of this. Information
from her friends were all green lights. I don't remember exactly why... but
it fell through. As I went to confront her during a football game, her
friend and she PURPOSELY saw me and walked in the other direction. I was
heartbroken... a stream of curse words with many "whys" and "what did I do
wrongs" followed. Naturally, I called the next night... in tears. She told
me that "I just wasn't right for her." She cried, and I told her that I
would always love her. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. Never EVER tell someone
who has flat out rejected you that you will still go on loving her... they
will hold that against you until the day you die. Now she constantly tells
me the ones who she has a crush on... seemingly completely oblivious to my
past feelings. EVIL.
The rest of my sophomore year was pretty much the same. A few rejections
for dates here and there... but what do you expect when you're one of the
shortest in your class and have a bowl-cut that's been out of style for
about five years?
Junior year came and I began to blossom... I was starting to become accepted
with the "in-crowd." I guess it was my developed sense of humor that got me
the friends I have now... a big costume as to who I really am. Yeah, I just
admitted that I'm not my actual "true-to-heart" self... feel free to make bad
comments. But I was out of desperation... I wanted to be the next guy to
find a girl, so that I could be in the couples' guild. Non-existent. I
didn't go to prom... I couldn't find a date. Too shy... too low on
self-confidence... too dorky. Too damn emo, I guess. However, I had started
to develop a good friendship with a girl named Lange... little did I know
that she would give me one of the biggest stabs to my heart...
I lifeguarded last summer... very fun job... I kept swimmers and fellow
lifeguards amused with Hulk Hogan poses and rumors that I was a homosexual.
Thought it might get me women... it didn't. No one really wants the
no-muscles guard. Throughout the summer I thought of Lange, and how much I
missed being in class with her...
School started again. Despite hanging out with me a couple of times, she
began to work with me in the Assembly's kitchen... this lasted about three
days. One night while at work, some of my friends put tampons all over my
car... and got inside and placed an upside-down condom on the gear shift. I
was utterly pissed, and she offered to come with me to confront them. We
did... everything was cool... and I dropped her off back at her car soon
afterward.
On the way home... it hit me. That damn feeling again. "Oh, God... this
can't be happening." It did. We began to become closer... she broke up with
her long-time boyfriend, and I thought it was time to tell her exactly how I
felt. I wanted to do it in person... but the opportunity never arose... she
kept having excuses to bail for weekends that we had planned to hang out. I
finally wrote her a letter... a deep and long one... very passionate. Know
what the response was? "I'd rather be friends... I don't want to ruin such a
good thing." Our friendship wasn't THAT close. It was more along the lines
of, "Hey, we hang out sometimes, it's pretty cool."
She continued to nail into the coffin as she was quickly back in the dating
pool within three weeks. Yeah, I didn't like the guy at all...he had an
arrogant manner about him. He wore a lot of Abercrombie and American
Eagle... must've been her type. The type that all the girls I'm attracted to
go for...maybe that's my weakness. Anyway, she told me the most EVIL thing
I have ever heard in my lifetime...
"I think the main reason I like him so much is because he reminds me a lot
of you."
I died that night.
And here I sit... almost to conclude my high school life and hoping that
college will bring better. It probably won't, because I don't plan on
joining a frat and being a stupid asshole.
Girls are definitely evil. With the exception of Katie, of course... my
bestest friend in the whole wide world. But, other than her, if you find
one that isn't, let me know.
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