Guys Are Evil Too
By Resonance
For a long time I was not the most social girl. I actually couldn’t stand
most people because I felt eventually, no matter how much you know or trust
a person, they are going to hurt you. My childhood left me with many scars
and distrust for all people outside of my family.
My family and I lived in a pretty bad neighborhood and my parents decided it
was time to get out of it. This meant my mom would have to start working
again and my siblings and I would not be able to stay in home schooling and
would be forced to join a regular public school. Oh we were so happy about
his decision (please not the sarcasm). So we packed up and moved to a new
neighborhood and enrolled in school. I was forced to take the bus to school
and home.
I didn’t talk to many people. In fact I didn’t talk to anyone unless they
said hi to me and I would politely respond and pray they left me alone.
Thankfully I didn’t have much to pray about because most people considered
me “weird”. Why? Because I had my own style (I dressed differently) and
never really talked. If those are the reasons a person is considered weird
no wonder our society is so screwed up.
Well one day I ended up sitting next to this quite blonde haired guy who was
actually kind of attractive. He was obviously new because the look on his
face was nervous. I sat down, pulled my CD player out and prepared to
suffer through another boring day at school. But something weird happened,
he talked to me. He asked what I was listening to and if I liked the school
we were going to. He was really anxious to talk and seemed really
interested in what I had to say. It was kind of nice. Well, this continued
for quite some time. We started sitting next to each other everyday and
meeting at lunch and on breaks at school. We got along great. We had
similar interests and similar lives. It was great talking to someone who
understood you and being able to be yourself and not feel like you were
different or weird. Soon we exchanged numbers. For a year we were the best
of friends. We hung out as much as possible and talked on the phone when we
weren’t together. It was great. I was happy, I began to trust him.
Well, life went on and so did school. I stayed the same. I was still
referred to as the “weirdo” but I didn’t care. I had Josh (the best
friend). Josh did change however. At school he became more and more
popular. I saw him less and heard from him less. But it didn’t bother me.
I was happy he was having a good time and making new friends, he really
wanted that. We still hung out a lot, not as much as we used to but we were
still best friends. At least I thought we were.
Another year went by and I only saw Josh maybe once a week. He still called
almost everyday so it didn’t bother me much. But my feelings for him were
growing deeper. When we did spend time together we were much closer. He
would cuddle next to me and hold my hand at times. At first I was
uncomfortable, scared of this closeness, but it was so nice. I began to
realize I was in love with him. And I thought he felt the same way. I
decided that I was going to tell him. I didn’t want to be just friends
anymore. I felt our relationship had grown deeper than that. So that
weekend when he came over I waited for the perfect moment to poor my heart
out. I cared for him so much, and most of all, I trusted him. Little did I
know he came over to tell me something also.
Finally I told him. I told him that I thought I was in love with him, that
I felt so close to him. I felt like we had become more than friends. I
really believed he felt the same way. Why wouldn’t he? He sure made it
seem like it. He was the first to hold my hand, the first to hold me while
we watched movies. He was the one who softly kissed my cheek the last time
we said goodbye. Of course he felt the same way.
Or not. I couldn’t believe what he said next. The words still sting to
this day. “I’m sorry but I just don’t feel that way at all. In fact, I was
going to ask if we could stop seeing each other today. I know this may
sound horrible but it really looks bad that we hang out so much. You know I
am really popular now, and well, everyone thinks you’re really weird. They
are going to start thinking I am weird if I keep hanging out with you. So,
I guess I’m saying goodbye.” And with that he got up and left. I was in
shock. This wasn’t happening. He was going to come back in and say, “just
kidding” and then sweep me off my feet. Right? No. He did exactly what he
said. He stopped hanging out with me, he stopped calling, he stopped even
looking at me. I fell apart inside. I let someone in and gave them the
power to hurt me. I cried myself to sleep every night for at least a month.
I begged my mom to put me in home school again. I hated myself. This is
what a guy did to me. He hurt me, someone he grew close to for two years,
someone he led to believe would become more then friends, someone that he
decided would cramp his style so he broke my heart like it was nothing.
Boys are evil.
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